The fact that I will be 35 years old tomorrow is, to be honest, a bit of a brain trip right now.
It’s hard to believe how quickly time has passed. It seems like only yesterday that I was 30 and on my way to Paris. That would be the last vacation before the major move, the quarantine due to a pandemic, and the visa system.
Much has changed (for the better!) since then, and I can see that when I stop to take a deep breath and reflect on my life as a self-employed woman, my hours are never enough, and I no longer have a set schedule.
I’m thankful that I feel more like “myself” now than I ever have because of everything that the last decade or so has taught me about love, life, simplicity, and everything else.
For your perusal, I present 35 of the most valuable things I’ve learned over the previous three decades.
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1. Protecting my energy is essential. I have always been a chatterbox, but I have learned to protect my conversations as engaging with people can be draining, and the next day I can feel my body not as energized.
2. Beauty and Self-care: anything you want it to be. The pandemic taught us to show up without makeup and wearing sweatpants is trendy attire and always apply SPF.
3. Quality over quantity: sleep, groceries, food and clothing pieces that are not fast fashion. I highly recommend you watch this documentary.
4. Sleep is my remedy to EVERYTHING: If you need to sleep then sleep. Right before your period and the day of are all legitimately vital to you.
5. Comfortable shoes. My high-heel collection has depleted for Sneakers, Boots, Flat Sandals and Trainers.
6. Save first: this has been tough after immigrating but begin somewhere. Try “No spending months” too. It is not as easy as it sounds.
7. What you are waiting for: do it, start it, explore it, visit it, eat it (in quantity), do it.
8. Social media can control your spending habits: companies resourcefully force you to spend in the busiest months. Read this article
9. Meditation is loving yourself: I say no more.
10. Bodycare or Self-care is a ritual and routine: this may involve monthly facials, nails, massages, sound baths, wellness events etc. but investing in the right regime for your body care/self-care is essential. It is not one size fits everyone.
11. Journalling on hard days: I gave this its lead as I believe you do not have to journal every day but when you have those difficult days and things don’t make sense, or you are at a crossroads, then journal it. I have felt an immediate weight that has been lifted.
12. Your business needs a system: this is what I use and it saves me time.
13. Canva is a LIFE SAVER: for everything and anything media related, this is what I mean – CHECK IT OUT
14. The most challenging part of changing your life is finding the courage to make the decision: It all gets easier after that. I am currently convincing my friends to take the leap of faith. We have to follow our fears and leave our comfort zones.
15. Amazon: works when you need that last-minute item or is cheaper than the current price. Have you seen my shop and what I have read or bought?
16. Painting is Therapy: I have found passion in life-size art but not any art, murals. Since my last mural, I have put forward a proposals for my art to be showcased.
17. Painting has many avenues: I introduced Bottle Painting as another service as it allowed me to be part of Businesses events, experiences and on-site.
18. Taking ownership: learning about your Finances, Investing, Captial, Credits, Real Estate and TAX is one serious learning every woman should know but rarely invests time in. I wish they taught this at school.
19. Choose a partner with similar values. Relationships are all about compromise, but you’ll never feel true to yourself if you compromise on your core values.
20. Appreciation for travel: the pandemic took away connections and communication but left us isolated. The moment we had the opportunity to travel, so did everyone which caused tumultuous havoc. My bucket list continues to grow, but we are counting down the time until we travel again.
21. Travel alone or Eat in solitude: whichever comes first, I highly suggest you do. During my trip to Seattle, I found time to enjoy things and walk places we as a family may not go. I also found more space in my thoughts, where journalling has been a big part of my life.
22. Your past traumas: generational trauma is real and significantly impacts how you see life, do life and share life. You are not your past.
23. Podcasts are my jam: Breakfast lunch and supper, on walks, hikes and in the car. What are some of your podcast favourites?
24. Reading is a Workshop for the Mind, Body and Soul said Vanisha Singh: while I love the smell of books, the paper in between our fingers, I lack storage and have now resorted to a Kobo. My list is endless but my reading list has grown exponentially.
25. Collaboration over the competition: It’s not ‘you’ vs ‘ them’. It is not you and I but Us.
26. Parenting a Gen Z: is very difficult, hair-pulling and energy-sucking also known as “Alpha Gen.”
27. Anxiety is real: finding the right treatment is your choice and your choice only whatever that may look like, be it medication, therapy, acupuncture, light therapy, yoga, pilates, medical cannabis in the various forms of vapes, oils, gummies and pens. I say find what works for you but do not be afraid to experiment.
28. Fitness: looks very different for each of us. We as global beings are constantly contracting and expanding. I have always enjoyed HITT training but it depleted my adrenals and left me feeling fatigued all the time. Rebuilding has been slow which meant a pause on my gym membership. Some light movements, walking and stretches are what I now focus on. Will I return to training, one day but for now I am taking it slow. Body autonomy = Body Positivity
29. Success: looks different for me. I do not define it by the value in my bank account, the house or the car we drive. Success is everything and anything you choose it to be. Success could be waking up in the morning and feeling great about yourself. Success could be learning a new skill that you never thought you would learn. Success is taking time to go on a walk and soak in Vitamin D. Every since moving to Canada, Vitamin D is much needed and our body relies a lot on it.
30. Don’t pick on that pimple: having lived with acne all my childhood, it continued with me into adulthood. There are months where the most giant zit appears but that is another way my body is reacting to the environment I am in, what I am placing into my body and identifying what has triggered the inflammation.
31. The moon has more control over our lives: the closer I lean into this, I have noticed the shift in my energy, mood and awareness of energies around the different phases of the moon. The moon controls the tides of the ocean, and we are made of 60% water. We do not emphasize these phases as many lack the knowledge to understand this.
32. Healing: it is time to let go, be yourself and find your passion. If this was the sign you were looking for? Then here you go swoosh.. swoosh find what is holding you back and how you can feel the alive human possible; why? Because you deserve it.
33. Social Media is not REAL: no one’s life is perfect as perfection does not exist so live off social media. As much as I learnt so much being in this industry, it has detrimental effects on the quality of your life. I read the book The Me, Without: A Year Exploring Habit, Healing, and Happiness it is remarkable and highly recommend as it gives a very stark reality about living with chronic illness as well as trying to manage your life in ways that society puts forth as gleaming and helpful. It is real and raw in many ways.
34. Change: it happens, but not all of us are okay with it. As I have travelled the sun many times, each year has been different. With many life lessons we did not envision we have had to learn about ourselves and re-learn. It may be things that don’t serve us, give purpose or make sense. It can be habits, beliefs, values, morals, religion, politics and business.
35. LOVE: is more than a feeling. It is an interpretation of how you understand, share, speak, believe and need. We choose to love someone but also connect with others through love. We say I love you, but what do we love about them at that moment? We experience heartbreak yet we learn through love. Choosing to love yourself is believing you are loved, and you are enough, and that means treating others with love. Share the love, be the love and encompass love in your life.
